Egypt- Welcome to the Red Sea, what happened to the mosques?

We all made it down in one piece (a miracle considering it was dark out and we were mountain climbing) and headed to our hotel which was only a five minute drive down the valley. Our rooms were all spread out across the place and they had a weird stone path that made it feel like we hadn’t left the mountain. Dinner was ready for us as usual. And as usual we weren’t hungry at 10 o’clock. Egypt is a culture that enjoys late dinners, this one pushed back even farther by our late night arrival. We headed to our rooms to shower, something that was complicated by the burn I got from the faucet. Adele wanted to take me to the hospital but I thought that was a bit extreme and settled for some simple disinfectant. Our rooms were freezing and we spent the night huddled under our blankets, not just from that, but also trying to escape the mosquitoes that were swarming at the chance for fresh blood.

The next day dawned and we hit the road after some group presentations. Our only stop that morning was St. Catherine’s the third century monastery that had been built around the burning bush and then fortified by Justinian in 557 A.D. Surprisingly, the burning bush wasn’t burning, just spreading so much that it was threatening to take over its corner of the monastery. In addition to that we had to squeeze through crowds of pilgrims to check out a largely boring and ugly church.

 It was here that I had a bit of a moment of annoyance. What is it with people and relics? I mean seriously. What is the point of a finger (what was left there) or a nail clipping, or an olive stone left by Mary? I thought that the Israelites were commanded not to worship false idols? I mean, I know it’s not much different from worshipping a man on a cloud, but who in their right mind, bows and crosses themselves and kisses the box these things are in? It seems to me that people need hobbies. Like baseball or cards or just about anything else.

We left and headed down the road towards Sharm el-Sheikh. The road through the desert looked like it was the set for Dune or some other sci-fi movie and we spent it snapping shots of soaring landscape. We made it to our destination and let me tell you, whew, boy is it ugly. Tourist development never seems to take place in an orderly or aesthetic way. No, like Vegas it happens wherever it can cater to people’s needs. “Needs” being the key word. Who needs to sit in a pool in a desert? And have every amenity you can imagine at unreasonable prices in a totally artificial environment?

 I get annoyed at the lack of planning that goes into these places. It’s a waste of money and water and land. There were some perfectly beautiful views of beaches and deserts before resorts had to plop down all over the place. I’ll admit, I enjoyed the pool, it was refreshing after days in the desert. Our throats were so raw from the dust that we couldn’t talk and I needed a break. But that doesn’t mean that I’m condoning destroying a perfectly wonderful peninsula with lousy resorts that cater to Russians and Italians.

The night arrived and we headed off to one of the touristy events in town, a Bedouin dinner. It’s amazing the targeting that goes on, and the faux culture that can be presented. We sat out under the stars and had a wonderful dinner of lamb and rice and anything else you can imagine. I really enjoyed it and I know everyone else did. But the entertainment was just downright embarrassing for all of us. It wasn’t Bedouin, it was a DJ and African dancers doing different pieces from around the continent.

 I understand that it sells well and makes a living for people, but I think that their own culture would sell as well as anything created for tourists. I was proved right when Yasser asked the people in charge to present some of their own music to us. They were gracious enough to do so and they sat down to several small instruments and their own voices and hands and produced one of the most beautiful sounds I’ve ever heard. No joke, it was great. So why isn’t that marketed to tourists? Most aren’t like us. They’re chubby middle-aged Brits and younger aged local Egyptian kids who want a night out in the desert.

So we were about to leave when they pulled out all their locally made crafts and I should have looked at them, but I wasn’t in the mood and the crowd was a little out of control. So I went and sat in the desert. Just like that. Not something I can usually do at home so I figured I should take advantage of the opportunity while I could. Deserts are a funny thing. They’re absolutely silent. I had a hum in my ears from the breeze, that’s how calm it was. I could see a glow from the fire and lights where everyone was, but besides that nothing. The stars were bright and the ground warm, it was eleven at night but it still felt like I was in an oven. I lay there looking up until people started moving and then I joined the caravan.

Our next day was completely unrelated to Egypt and Islamic culture, but based on pure fun it was probably the best day of the trip. We went snorkeling. On a boat. In a national park. With rap music and lots of seasickness. Probably about ten of the forty people were puking or feeling a little under the weather, but besides that it was amazing. The Red Sea is known for its reefs and it sure as heck didn’t disappoint. They were more amazing than any others I’ve ever seen. Most reefs you see from snorkeling off the shore are pretty boring. These. Not so much. They looked like anything you’d see on the discovery channel. I’ll never forget those fish and the coral.

 The first place we stopped was a shelf drop off. Being a fish and all I insisted on running over everyone else and was first off the boat right after the guide. I flopped around for awhile as the rest of the group hit the water and then we took off. We swam up towards the shore and all of the sudden there it was out of nowhere. Just a huge wall of coral, it probably dropped off from about 3 feet deep on top, to about 100 feet deep at the bottom. A huge flat wall of coral covered with fish like you’ve never seen. We snorkeled along and it was really something else. I couldn’t believe what we were seeing without having to go diving in deeper water. Then, of all the luck, we look down and there’s a sea turtle. Just cruising along. What kind of country is this??

Here’s my next observation. Americans need to get out of the house. This isn’t a new one by any means, but I can’t stand that Americans travel less than any other nationality that I meet. I know so many people who are happy to just troll around home. I know there’s a lot to see in the states, but there’s a lot to see around the rest of the world too. What I’m getting at, is that people have these perceptions of how the rest of the world is. And they’re so often wrong. Egypt, as it turns out (big surprise), is not just a desert full of camels and headscarfed women being oppressed by savage terrorists. Wow. Who knew? Sense the sarcasm and bitterness? I just get so frustrated with the people who say they’re happy to stay around home. You know what it is. They’re just too afraid to go anywhere else. I’m willing to call them out because maybe they’ll change if I hammer hard enough. Don’t been such weenies. Go somewhere new besides Florida.

Back to the boat. The music was key. Egyptians, like everyone else for some reason, love American rap. Or at least they think that it’s classy and what we want to hear on a boat in the Red Sea. They played so many good things that I can’t even begin to explain how cool it was to be coasting along on the waves while listening to P Diddy and Jay-Z, or whatever we were listening to, my memory is shot from the sun. Welcome to sunburn central. The other joy of the day was everyone toasting to a crisp. But we got home in one piece and packed up for the airport where we caught our flight back to Cairo.